The Hamiltons, day to day

Every four months

Every four months, I go to see my oncologist.  We chat, and I get an exam.  The problem is that cancer is not on the outside.  It's on the inside.  So no physical exam is really going to rule it out.  But we do that anyway, because it makes us both feel better.  He doesn't order labwork, so I just order it myself.  Again, it makes me feel better if it comes back normal, even if that doesn't mean a whole lot.

I really hate going to that office.  Don't get me wrong - it's a perfectly nice office with perfectly nice doctors and nurses.  It's just that for 362 days a year, I don't have to think about that office and what goes on there.  Three times a year I have to go in there.  So as I'm driving there, I get nervous.  I start to sweat, my stomach hurts, my ulcer hurts, my hands shake, I can't breathe, and I want to cry.  Because who knows what's going to happen?  He could come in and say something awful.  The cancer could be back.  Bad things happen in that building.  I know, lives get saved in that building, but chemo is given in that building.  Awful, horrible news is given in that building.  They try to make it nice, but no one really wants to be there.

I sucked it up and went there today.  I had to, because four months had gone by.

My oncologist had a stroke in the spring.  He was 42.  I was very upset for him.  I didn't want a new doctor if he didn't come back.  I put my life in his hands, and I trust him.  He's important to me.  Lincoln is small enough that you run into cancer people everywhere.  We all kind of know each other.  And everyone wants to know who your doctor is.  A lot of people have my doctor, and we were all upset.  He was too young to have a stroke.  He cares so much about us.  He didn't deserve a stroke.  Not that anyone does, but he really didn't, if you get what I'm saying.  So I wanted to hug him and hear all about him when I saw him, but then I didn't want to, because what if he had horrible news for me?  What if I was so happy to see him that I forgot that the appointment was to discuss my cancer?  And then what if he said oh by the way, it's back?  So I shook his hand.  Then he sat down and told me about the stroke.  And he blamed his nurse Catherine for giving him a stroke.  And she agreed that it was her fault, but that he drove her to it.  And I suggested litigation.  That's when I knew that it would be okay.  That's what cancer people do.  When you get to the point where you can have a dark humor about your disease, then you're okay.  And clearly, he has a dark humor about the stroke.

So at some point he asked me how I was doing.  And I said that I thought I was okay, because that's what cancer people do.  We never say that we are fine without some kind of qualifier.  Because we don't know, absolutely for sure, if we are okay.  And we don't want to sound too confident, lest we jinx ourselves. 

And then at the end, I went to shake his hand again, and I thought that it was probably too late to hug him at that point.  But then he hugged me.  And at that point I realized how happy I was to have this doctor back in my life.  Then I sat in my car and read my labwork results.  And now I'm good for another four months.  I hope he is too.

Change is good

Right?  Well, honestly, change freaks me out.  I am resistant to change.  But we changed our living room, and I wanted to share it with you.  It's finally finished!

I wasn't smart enough to take a "before" picture, so I took a "in the middle" picture.  Just pretend it's before.  Isn't that green wall hideous?  Who does that?  And the baseboards and the window trim are fake wood, so that had to go.

This is the "after" of the wall and the window.  There is no more accent wall, and the window trim is painted white.  Just about killed me to paint all of that.  And no, I'm not against wood.  I'm against fake wood.  Here's another shot of the green wall, just because I know you love it:

I mean seriously.  And they had molding strips running vertically down the seams in order to hide the royal blue paint that was under the green.  Yes.  Royal blue.  So here's the after of this corner:

I painted the entertainment center black.  It used to be particle board.  Well, it obviously is still particle board, but now it's black particle board.  It was so smooth that I had to sand the life out of it in order to get the paint to stick.  And then I ran out of satin black paint, and Lowe's only had semi-gloss, so it's half satin and half semi-gloss.  But it's black particle board, so who really cares?  At least, that was my mind set at the end of the week I spent painting it.  Every night, I would watch whatever reality show was on Bravo whilst painting.  Do you know how many shirts I had to throw away because they had black paint on them?  It's not my fault that I had to lean in better see the outfits on Project Runway.  And here are just some fun little accents that make me happy.

How cute is that lamp?  It had some tchotke little things hanging off of it that were bothering me, so Mike cut them off.  The flower picture was too narrow for the wall, so I framed it with an open black frame.  There's another one on the opposing wall.  I don't necessarily like to frame things in conventional ways. And yes, I am aware that my floor lamps look cheap.  One thing at a time, folks.

This is my favorite part.  Those photos are all mostly taken by the fabulous Becky Novacek.   While I love Uppercase Living, I got the wall quotation from my neighbor who was moving and wasn't going to use it, so I don't know where she got it.  That being said, I highly suggest that you check out the Uppercase Living catalog, because there are some awesome things in it for your walls, and that's where I was looking before the neighbor situation occurred.  Miley Johnson sells Uppercase Living.  She can help you out. 

In any event, here's the entire wall:

 Those little lanterns were there when we moved in, and they're too high for me to take off.  So they stay.  Are you getting an idea of what my favorite colors are?  LOL.

In any event, there's Bailey!  I have about four more photos to put up on the big wall, but that's it.  I swear.  I'm not touching the place.  Except to paint the railing.  And to do some type of treatment to the top of the coffee table.  And I'd like to do a box valance on the window.  Sigh.  Does it ever end??

So hot

It has been so stinkin' hot outside that all we can do is stay inside.  Unless we put the pool out for the kids.  Which is when Zach likes to spit the water out.  And then Bailey laughs hysterically.  Fun for all.

More digi love

Maybe it's my plan to inundate you with digi until you throw up your hands and give up the paper.  Or maybe I just don't have any stories to tell you, so I'm resorting to this.  Posting layouts and cards.  Either way, you're stuck with me.  Or you could just hit the "back" button and go back to whatever wildly funny, inspirational, brilliant blog you came from.  Sometimes I wish I could do that myself. ;-)

I love this card.  I mean, with all my being, I love this card.  The birds and branches are a template, so you can insert whatever paper you want.  I love templates.  Almost as much as I love this card. 

The template is from Barb Derksen, and the Earth Day papers are from a favorite blog of mine, Raspberry Road.

And I don't know what's gotten into me, but seriously, these retro Raspberry Road papers get me every time.  They're just so much fun.  How could you not smile?  I seriously think that clouds and rainbows are going to make a huge comeback, although maybe only for a minute.  Because really, they're not all that versatile.  Unless you own a pair of roller skates and a disco ball.

I may have already posted this next layout, but my chemobrain keeps me from remembering my phone number sometimes, so how am I expected to remember which layouts I've posted and which I haven't?

Digi love

I've got a couple of layouts to share with you.  I've been wanting to scrap this picture forever, so I was just sort of playing around with some stuff, and all of a sudden I had a layout.  I wish they all went like that. ;-) 

The cardstock and alphas are from Jen Wilson, the patterned paper is from Jessica Sprague at Creating Keepsakes, the ruler is from Designer Digitals, what looks like a 7gypsies rubon is actually a 7gypsies digi product (yes, they make digi product which can be found at PC Layers) and the butterflies are mine.  It's true.  I'm venturing into the world of designing elements.  I have too many specific needs that are unmet or that take endless internet searching.  Finally, the photo is by the uber talented Becky Novacek.   

This next layout I did with the Bohemian digi kit from Creative Memories.  I so love their StoryBook Maker software.  Soooo user friendly.  The design team will be featured at their showcase in August, and they requested an "about me" layout from each of us.  Not usually the type of layout I do, but I love this picture of my super cute first haircut after my hair grew back.  It will never look that way again, after the humid summer we've been having.  Sigh.